No (World) Peace Until You Learn to Love Yourself.

Peace is: a state of mutual harmony between people or groups, especially in personal relations. (Dictionary.com). If we truly want “world peace”: We must first (and foremost) learn to have harmony in our own lives (learn how to love, understand and accept ourselves, our most intimate relations, as well as our extended families, our neighbors, our communities, our school communities, even the people where we work…). Peace (harmony/love) must start with ourselves. When the majority of people master this, then (& only then) can the concept of “World Peace” become a reality.

A slogan that needs to become a reality long before the concept of “World Peace” is: “Harmonic Homes!”, or, “Home Peace!” We should rally for: Peace in our families! Peace in our schools! Peace in our neighborhoods! Peace on our roads! Peace in the workplace! But most importantly, we should be rallying for: “Inner Peace!”

Yet, what would be the purpose of gathering for an “Inner Peace” rally (demonstration, march, or, silent protest) — except to have another networking opportunity? It would be better if people simply dedicated (scheduled in non-social/non-networking) alone time for cultivating their own peace (understanding, acceptance, harmony). Anyone who is truly tired of war, road rage, charity board power plays… should consider making this a top priority.

Remember: Love is Energy. Love, our feelings, our thoughts, our anger, our prejudices…. are all energy/vibrations (just like music – some harmonious – some not). They all effect (consciously & unconsciously) everyone nearby – as well as everyone far away (the world per se). This is a simple fact of quantum physics. A person’s behavior and speech can be politically correct… However, if their heart and thoughts are not full of understanding, acceptance, love & harmony – their gestures and words will not have a peaceful effect on others (they will in fact have the exact opposite).

How many of us are living in truly peaceful, harmonious, loving homes? Relationships, neighborhoods, communities, schools, workplaces…? For any of this to happen, we must be at peace with ourselves first. As long as the majority of people are not at peace with themselves (not loving/harmonic individuals), not only is the concept of world peace somewhat of a cruel joke – so is desirable love.

It’s attainable. All of it. World Peace. Inner peace. & everything in between. It all starts with a seed & that seed is each and every one of us. For each of us that can attain inner peace/harmony (understanding, acceptance, love for ourselves), there is another intimate relationship that has the hope of doing the same; another family; another community… Each person’s thoughts and feeling effect so many others. Simply be the positive change you want to see in your world… and in time, the rest will follow.

Relativity in Love.

“When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity.” ― Albert Einstein

Einstein always had a way of describing the most complex ideas concerning life (and love)… in ways even a child could understand.

In essence: Do you want to spend your time with someone who fills your heart with so much joy, that you don’t even notice the passage of time? Or, do you want to be with someone who makes every moment seem like an endless nightmare? Your (love)life is relative to the choices you make. You are free to chose.

Love is Energy.

Everything is energy. & Everything in life (& love) is vibration. – Albert Einstein

Sound (everything we hear), light (everything we see – as well as everything we do not see), everything we can touch (as well as everything that that we cannot touch), all the neurological and chemical reactions of smell and taste… EVERYTHING around us is vibrating. According to Einstein (proven by quantum physics): all “living” things – as well as all we perceive to be inanimate “lifeless” objects – are made up of the same vibrating universal energy. The only difference is that they are simply vibrating at different frequencies. Thus, everything is one in the same, and the vibrations of one of us affects the vibrations/harmony of all of us.

Thoughts are energy. Emotions are energy. People’s thoughts and emotions affect those close by (as well as those far away). Have you ever noticed that you can actually feel someone else’s emotions or thoughts (without them saying or doing anything in particular)? Some people make you feel uneasy while others make you feel at ease? Be aware that other people can feel your emotions and thoughts as well – regardless of what you say or do to cover them up. Our physical and mental health have their own vibrations (stagnancy/negativity in a certain part of our body, or mind, will lead to dis-ease/disharmony/ill-health in ourselves and others in our lives).

If you want to attract someone who is truly desirable (physically, mentally and spiritually healthy/harmonious/loving), work to vibrate on a loving/harmonic frequency yourself. Be as healthy/harmonic as you can. You don’t have to be perfect; you just have to be harmonious!

Biggest Disease Today… Feeling Unloved.

The biggest disease (in) this day and age, is that of people feeling unloved. – Princess Di

Share the love in your life with others. Pay attention to them. Make sure you not only tell them, but also show those around you how special & loved they truly are. The worst feeling in the world is feeling as though you don’t matter or aren’t valued. Love is the most healing and harmonizing energy in the world. Use it.

Dedicated to lovely M.T.I. ~ Know you have always been worth loving… I am sorry your Mom was too unwell to be able to give you what you deserved… you are truly a remarkable young lady.

What makes a man fall in love with one woman over another?

Thank you for your questions.

To answer your first question: What makes a man fall in love with one woman over another? 

What a question! There are so many variables: culture, age, formative childhood experiences, life experiences, genetics, and mental health… just to name a few. One could write volumes on this subject. Here I will try to write the mere essence of the totality. I want to state that my answer applies to all men and women — of all sexual orientations.

My answer is: NEED derived from a person’s mental state.

All humans need love, touch, human understanding. There have been studies in which infants died from lack of human touch — love and kindness. As humans we form our love models in early childhood — based upon our relationships with parents and caregivers. Then life experiences either reinforce or destroy those early concepts. Hence, everyone’s love model is completely individual to themselves — like our fingerprints.

If you had positive love models as a child, which were further reinforced as an adolescent and young adult — your love model will most likely continue to gravitate to people who will also become positive partners in your life. Unfortunately, with more and more broken homes, with popular cultural influences getting stronger and stronger – this is becoming less and less common.

For those who do not have positive love models? They will find that they primarily gravitate towards people whom do not turn out to be positive influences in their lives — but often even become destructive influences. This love model will be repeated time and time again until the person makes a conscious decision to put in the time and effort to change their love model — to whom they are attracted. They must reach a point in their lives that they decide to expect and accept nothing less than love in their closest relationships.

As for your second question: Why does a woman who is a great catch: she can be gorgeous, funny, intelligent, willing to learn, good listener, understanding, level headed in dealing with conflict, witty, sexy, sweet, and nonjudgmental. All of these good qualities…why can’t it inspire feelings of love in an otherwise intelligent man??

It would seem that his attraction towards women might be more inline with an earlier century’s norm, or, overly influenced by 21st century pop culture influences. If the situation makes him and his less intelligent partner truly happy — there isn’t an issue. If the situation is causing problems in his life, he might want to consider tweaking his love model.

Delve a bit deeper.

People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out… (however,) when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within. – E. Kubler-Ross

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched. They must be felt with the heart. – H. Keller

If you want someone thoroughly beautiful, you are simply going to have to delve a bit deeper.

Are women attracted to men physically, or, just their perks?

I was asked: Are women actually physically attracted to any men, or, is it really just about ‘everything else’?

I live in a town where men and women are obsessed with jogging. In the warmer seasons, both men and women run with literally nothing on but their sun block and running shoes.

Several years ago, I was driving in town when I was suddenly distracted by a very attractive (almost naked) man running in front of my car. I momentarily lost all higher-level brain function, my eyes became completely fixated on him, and, I nearly drove off the road as a result. It was a truly primal reaction of sexual attraction.

After regaining my composure, the control of my vehicle, and, as the blood slowly returned to my head, I suddenly remembered why men have such a hard time when an attractive woman wears physically revealing attire. It is literally impossible not to look; literally impossible not to be attracted.

Because of that embarrassing confession: I can state that without a doubt: Yes, (hetero-) females are physically attracted to men, without “everything else”. That being said, I am also attracted to men (with clothing) that have a great mind, have a big heart, make me laugh… anyone who is happy and harmonious I find just as mesmerizing. In addition, I can honestly say that I have never been attracted to a man for the car he drove, the watch he wore, the private clubs he belonged to… This is not due to any greatness on my part, but the simple fact that I have been fortunate enough in my life not to have needed a man to provide me with nice things, or, security.

So please, don’t criticize those who instinctively do look for men with material strength. Remember, we are sexual animals first — conditioned to be a part of civilized society second. When we first see a person (of the gender we are attracted to), our first reaction is primal. Men innately are attracted to the woman who appears most ready to mate (bear their children) & women are attracted to the strongest male (who will be able to provide food, shelter and protection for her young).

In our modern world, physical attractiveness/health in a male is no longer enough to secure the well-being of children. Quite often, the male who is best able to provide these primal needs does not appear (if you were to strip him of his fine clothes) physically strong. Thus, our culture has changed what many women are attracted to in a man. One should not judge too harshly the women who are attracted to wealthy men for the material perks they can provide; anymore than you should judge the men who can’t help but look at a woman that is dressed provocatively. Instead, blame the industrial revolution.

Do not despair though, since WWII more and more women are able to provide for themselves (and their children). They have recently done studies on wealthy powerful women. It appears that they tend to be attracted to men who are the most physically fit. Period. No “everything else” required for these ladies. So, there you go. As culture changes, a woman’s innate primal need to ensure the well being of her offspring also changes. As a result, what she is attracted to in a man changes. Wealthy powerful women are still a small minority… but who knows? In time, it might be the majority of men that are primarily attracted to women with material perks. We’ll have to wait and see.

Meanwhile, I think there are enough evolved people who can look past purely physical or material attraction. Not to say they won’t get an occasional whiplash from either!

Thanks for the question.