A healthy person is always aware that whatsoever (s)he is doing, (s)he is responsible. ~ Osho
If you want a healthy (loving) relationship, it is important to remember: Whatever is going on in that relationship, you are somehow as responsible as the other person. Remembering this will give you a sense of freedom in all your relationships. ~desirable love
I was in the fashion industry for years. Therefore, I do appreciate outer/superficial beauty. And, as mentioned in my previous post, I understand its value and limitations in society. I just want to add: you can value superficial beauty. However, make sure it is be you (tiful)!
Changing fashion and beauty trends are often bizarre because they have to be different/new – to create a reason for people to buy them. If there wasn’t constantly something “new”, people would not have a constant (conditioned) need to buy (and the industry would suffer financially). The trick: learn to use the industry to your advantage – not theirs. Remember to be you (tiful).
Know: everyone has natural beauty. Everyone. The key to being a beauty is to make all your features (appear) harmonic. It is not who is the skinniest, or, who is the most voluptuous, or, who has the longest hair, or, who has the -est or –iest of anything. Any extreme, of any feature is bizarre looking. Bizarre is not beautiful. Period.
Instead of stressing yourself to be every fashion and beauty trend –est and -iest… First and foremost, just be your health-iest. Then, don’t allow fashion and beauty trends to dictate your looks (no one is beautiful in every trend). Instead, use fashion and beauty trends as experiments to figure out what makes you the most be you (tiful). Make the fashion trend your own. Don’t be afraid to tweak it to fit your personal beautifying needs.
If you are healthy – you will be beautiful! If your fashion & beauty tricks are harmonic (not extreme/trendy) – you will be breathtaking! If your are breathtaking – no one will notice if you are following a fashion trend or not! Simply be you (tiful)!
I was asked to answer the question: Do looks matter in love?
My reply was: Yes & No. It depends on the following:
There is inner beauty & outer beauty. Beauty is Harmony. Therefore, there is inner harmony & outer harmony. All living beings are attracted to and actually need beauty/harmonic energy in their lives. Therefore, it behooves you to have at least one.
Since humans are primarily visual beings, outer beauty tends to be important to catch the eye of a mate — especially in youth. As outer beauty fades, and wisdom grows — inner beauty/harmonic energy grows. This fact is most evident in older longterm love relationships. However, this can also be a factor in youth (& age) — if both partners pocess inner harmony.
Therein lies the catch. If a partner does not have inner beauty, they will not be able to connect to, or, even see their partner’s. Their desire to fill their inner void will become overwhelming and will have to be fed by something external/superficial. Hence the many relationships ruined by wandering eyes.
It is hard to answer your question more specifically, since I do not know the circumstances that have led you to ask this question. All I can say in summary is: When a person has inner beauty, they glow. If their loved one is too insecure to see that, it is truly their loss. If you don’t feel you have achieved that level of being yet… I will add: I have never met anyone who could not be made beautiful on the outside. It’s easy, remember, it’s only superficial!
You don’t get harmony when everyone sings the same note. Harmony is the ability of differences to be in tune.
“… pay attention to nature’s music… (you will) find that everything on… earth contribute(s) to its harmony.” ~ Hazrat Inayat Khan
Your life is your symphony – you are its conductor. The baton is in your hands!
A profound picture of a person giving themselves completely to someone who has nothing to offer in return. The transfer of energy is real. If you constantly interact with, have sex with, do business with… people that have no loving/positive energy, eventually (to fulfill their own emptiness) they will suck all the spirit out of you. You cannot surround yourself with negative/dead energy and expect health, wealth & success. These parasites will take the energy you need to create success — and make it their own — leaving you nothing. Surround yourself with people, places and things that don’t leave you spiritually empty. Love only those who are already full of love.
“A family is a place where minds come in contact with one another. If these minds love one another the home will be as beautiful as a flower garden. But if these minds get out of harmony with one another it is like a storm that plays havoc with the garden.” ~ Buddha (563-483 BC)
We are all one family. Love/Harmony is the answer to all that ails us.
When you read English translations of ancient eastern philosophy, it is unfortunate that the word “balance” is used often – instead of the intended word – “harmony”. This has lead to the use of the word “balance” oft in western “New Age” vernacular…. Which has made it harder for western people to understand and follow the ancient lifestyle philosophies.
You don’t want “balance” in your life! Balance is a stagnant stationary point – extraordinarily hard to maintain. It is tension. In an instance, if one is not absolutely vigilant, balance will become instability, inequality, non-composure – differences. That is a stressful way to live. Who wants a life like that?
The harmony spoken about in ancient eastern philosophies is akin to musical harmony: the art of the combination of differences, into something agreeable or desired. It is not a stagnant point. It flows between while simultaneously incorporating (experiencing) the highs and lows of your life. The highs and lows are actually essential to joy you experience from a harmonious life.
There is tension in all lifestyles. Tension & stress are necessary at times. However, where as tension/stress is a constant state needed to achieve balance. Harmony is a state of constant flow; in which tension, (anger, grief… all the low notes life throws at us) are simply moments in your journey. Instead of falling off the balance beam (falling off the wagon, binge-eating, shopping-till-you-drop, having a string of illicit affairs… whatever your tension/stress response is) life simply goes on (it actually goes up). When you have mastered harmony, you have learned how not to get stuck and dwell in the mire – how not to become unbalanced. You have learned how to pick yourself up and naturally reconnect with all of life’s natural highs.
Balance is tense; harmony, flows.