You Don’t Want Balance in your Life – You Want Harmony!

When you read English translations of ancient eastern philosophy, it is unfortunate that the word “balance” is used often – instead of the intended word – “harmony”. This has lead to the use of the word “balance” oft in western “New Age” vernacular…. Which has made it harder for western people to understand and follow the ancient lifestyle philosophies.

You don’t want “balance” in your life! Balance is a stagnant stationary point – extraordinarily hard to maintain. It is tension. In an instance, if one is not absolutely vigilant, balance will become instability, inequality, non-composure – differences. That is a stressful way to live. Who wants a life like that?

The harmony spoken about in ancient eastern philosophies is akin to musical harmony: the art of the combination of differences, into something agreeable or desired. It is not a stagnant point. It flows between while simultaneously incorporating (experiencing) the highs and lows of your life. The highs and lows are actually essential to joy you experience from a harmonious life.

There is tension in all lifestyles. Tension & stress are necessary at times. However, where as tension/stress is a constant state needed to achieve balance. Harmony is a state of constant flow; in which tension, (anger, grief… all the low notes life throws at us) are simply moments in your journey. Instead of falling off the balance beam (falling off the wagon, binge-eating, shopping-till-you-drop, having a string of illicit affairs… whatever your tension/stress response is) life simply goes on (it actually goes up). When you have mastered harmony, you have learned how not to get stuck and dwell in the mire – how not to become unbalanced. You have learned how to pick yourself up and naturally reconnect with all of life’s natural highs.

TenceBalance3

Balance is tense; harmony, flows.

HarmonicFlow

Suggested Supplemental Reading for Desirable Love

Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese Zen Buddhist monk, is an internationally known author, poet, scholar, and peace activist who was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize by Martin Luther King Jr. If you haven’t had a chance to read any of his work yet, I suggest you do.

In this book, True Love, he explores four key aspects of love: lovingkindness, compassion, joy, and freedom—giving simple explanations on how to experience them in our day-to-day lives.

To check out all suggested supplemental reading for Desirable Love, simply click on: GoodReads

How Can I Make Life Miserable for My Ex?

There is so much human suffering, why would you want to make life miserable for another person? I must presume that you believe your ex made life miserable for you in some way? You believe somehow revenge will make you feel better?

If you chose to take revenge, you are simply continuing to allow yourself to stay – to wallow in the mire. Stop and think. What happens if your revenge does not make your ex miserable? What if they chose not to let your actions effect them? What will you do then? Will you be happy? No, you most definitely will not.

Only happiness can make you happy. Let go of your misery. Forget the revenge. People can do things to us. However, they cannot make us feel. We control how we react to their actions. They can only effect our emotions if we allow them to do so. Take back your control. Aim to control yourself, not others.

It’s hard to let go of a way of being. However, to find what you are looking for, you must. Don’t take garbage out of the trash – it is toxic. Your relationship is over. Take it to the curb, come inside, open a window and let some fresh air in.

Choose to be happy. Focus on building your happiness around yourself – your needs – not your ex. Focus on making yourself a whole person, completely content, happy and fulfilled – all by yourself. Then no one will ever have the power to make you think that they have the right to make you hand over the control of your emotions.

If a person doesn’t feel the need for someone else to complete them, they’ll never feel alone. If one doesn’t have fear of being alone, they won’t stay in a relationship that is deteriorating. They would leave long before the other person has a chance to wear them down so far — as to (allow them to) make them feel miserable.

First, love yourself completely; then, find someone who has done the same. When neither person in a relationship has the need to take/fulfill their individual needs from/through their partner – the relationship will be one of giving, sharing, and, supporting each other. Instead of the all too common relationship, in which insecure people primarily take, hoard, and, tear each other down.

Don’t aim to add to human suffering, for inevitably you will only be adding to your own. If your ex is a person who needed to control your emotions in order to make them feel full of life: The simple knowledge of you being happy, will probably make them  feel fmiserable. But then that will not be by your will, it will simply their reaction to the fact they have lost their power over you.

Take your power back. Find your happiness within. Embrace love.