Beware of the Barrenness of a Busy Life.

Beware of the barrenness of a busy life.  – Socrates

We are physical beings, living in a physical (material) world. The need to pursue networks to become more successful materially (financially) – is a vital part of our survival. However, we are also beings with complex psychological and spiritual (harmonic & loving) needs as well.

Make sure to make time for deeper connections with those around you. Being busy and jumping from one chaotic work and/or social event to the next doesn’t leave time for truly understanding your needs, and/or the needs of those around you. If you can’t find time everyday, try to find time once a week (at the bare minimum) for quiet time  to focus on keeping harmony in yourself and your relationships.

Desirable love is complex, but well worth the effort. When you have harmonic loving relationships in your life, you will be stronger mentally, spiritually, physically & thus materially. Yes, materially. At the end of a chaotic busy productive day/period/life… don’t find yourself standing alone (with none who truly loves and cares for you). A life barren of love and harmony is simply put – an unsuccessful life.

A healthy person is always…

A healthy person is always aware that whatsoever (s)he is doing, (s)he is responsible. ~ Osho

If you want a healthy (loving) relationship, it is important to remember: Whatever is going on in that relationship, you are somehow as responsible as the other person. Remembering this will give you a sense of freedom in all your relationships. ~desirable love

Sex God(dess)

It’s easy to take off your clothes and have sex; people do it all the time, but opening up your soul to someone, letting them into your spirit, thoughts, fears, future, hopes, and dreams… that’s being naked.

~ Excerpt from Sex God: Exploring the Endless Connections between Sexuality and Spirituality, written by Rob Bell

If you can’t get naked, you’ll never know love.

~Desirable Love

Love is about valuing.

If you love a beautiful flower, don’t pick it up, own or control it. Because if you pick it up, control it, it dies and it ceases to be what you love. So if you love a beautiful flower, let it be, let it blossom. Love is not about possession and control. Love is about… valuing. – based upon Osho (edited by Desirable Love)

Are women attracted to men physically, or, just their perks?

I was asked: Are women actually physically attracted to any men, or, is it really just about ‘everything else’?

I live in a town where men and women are obsessed with jogging. In the warmer seasons, both men and women run with literally nothing on but their sun block and running shoes.

Several years ago, I was driving in town when I was suddenly distracted by a very attractive (almost naked) man running in front of my car. I momentarily lost all higher-level brain function, my eyes became completely fixated on him, and, I nearly drove off the road as a result. It was a truly primal reaction of sexual attraction.

After regaining my composure, the control of my vehicle, and, as the blood slowly returned to my head, I suddenly remembered why men have such a hard time when an attractive woman wears physically revealing attire. It is literally impossible not to look; literally impossible not to be attracted.

Because of that embarrassing confession: I can state that without a doubt: Yes, (hetero-) females are physically attracted to men, without “everything else”. That being said, I am also attracted to men (with clothing) that have a great mind, have a big heart, make me laugh… anyone who is happy and harmonious I find just as mesmerizing. In addition, I can honestly say that I have never been attracted to a man for the car he drove, the watch he wore, the private clubs he belonged to… This is not due to any greatness on my part, but the simple fact that I have been fortunate enough in my life not to have needed a man to provide me with nice things, or, security.

So please, don’t criticize those who instinctively do look for men with material strength. Remember, we are sexual animals first — conditioned to be a part of civilized society second. When we first see a person (of the gender we are attracted to), our first reaction is primal. Men innately are attracted to the woman who appears most ready to mate (bear their children) & women are attracted to the strongest male (who will be able to provide food, shelter and protection for her young).

In our modern world, physical attractiveness/health in a male is no longer enough to secure the well-being of children. Quite often, the male who is best able to provide these primal needs does not appear (if you were to strip him of his fine clothes) physically strong. Thus, our culture has changed what many women are attracted to in a man. One should not judge too harshly the women who are attracted to wealthy men for the material perks they can provide; anymore than you should judge the men who can’t help but look at a woman that is dressed provocatively. Instead, blame the industrial revolution.

Do not despair though, since WWII more and more women are able to provide for themselves (and their children). They have recently done studies on wealthy powerful women. It appears that they tend to be attracted to men who are the most physically fit. Period. No “everything else” required for these ladies. So, there you go. As culture changes, a woman’s innate primal need to ensure the well being of her offspring also changes. As a result, what she is attracted to in a man changes. Wealthy powerful women are still a small minority… but who knows? In time, it might be the majority of men that are primarily attracted to women with material perks. We’ll have to wait and see.

Meanwhile, I think there are enough evolved people who can look past purely physical or material attraction. Not to say they won’t get an occasional whiplash from either!

Thanks for the question.

Love only those who are already full of love.

A profound picture of a person giving themselves completely to someone who has nothing to offer in return. The transfer of energy is real. If you constantly interact with, have sex with, do business with… people that have no loving/positive energy, eventually (to fulfill their own emptiness) they will suck all the spirit out of you. You cannot surround yourself with negative/dead energy and expect health, wealth & success. These parasites will take the energy you need to create success — and make it their own — leaving you nothing. Surround yourself with people, places and things that don’t leave you spiritually empty. Love only those who are already full of love.

You Don’t Want Balance in your Life – You Want Harmony!

When you read English translations of ancient eastern philosophy, it is unfortunate that the word “balance” is used often – instead of the intended word – “harmony”. This has lead to the use of the word “balance” oft in western “New Age” vernacular…. Which has made it harder for western people to understand and follow the ancient lifestyle philosophies.

You don’t want “balance” in your life! Balance is a stagnant stationary point – extraordinarily hard to maintain. It is tension. In an instance, if one is not absolutely vigilant, balance will become instability, inequality, non-composure – differences. That is a stressful way to live. Who wants a life like that?

The harmony spoken about in ancient eastern philosophies is akin to musical harmony: the art of the combination of differences, into something agreeable or desired. It is not a stagnant point. It flows between while simultaneously incorporating (experiencing) the highs and lows of your life. The highs and lows are actually essential to joy you experience from a harmonious life.

There is tension in all lifestyles. Tension & stress are necessary at times. However, where as tension/stress is a constant state needed to achieve balance. Harmony is a state of constant flow; in which tension, (anger, grief… all the low notes life throws at us) are simply moments in your journey. Instead of falling off the balance beam (falling off the wagon, binge-eating, shopping-till-you-drop, having a string of illicit affairs… whatever your tension/stress response is) life simply goes on (it actually goes up). When you have mastered harmony, you have learned how not to get stuck and dwell in the mire – how not to become unbalanced. You have learned how to pick yourself up and naturally reconnect with all of life’s natural highs.

TenceBalance3

Balance is tense; harmony, flows.

HarmonicFlow