You Don’t Want Balance in your Life – You Want Harmony!

When you read English translations of ancient eastern philosophy, it is unfortunate that the word “balance” is used often – instead of the intended word – “harmony”. This has lead to the use of the word “balance” oft in western “New Age” vernacular…. Which has made it harder for western people to understand and follow the ancient lifestyle philosophies.

You don’t want “balance” in your life! Balance is a stagnant stationary point – extraordinarily hard to maintain. It is tension. In an instance, if one is not absolutely vigilant, balance will become instability, inequality, non-composure – differences. That is a stressful way to live. Who wants a life like that?

The harmony spoken about in ancient eastern philosophies is akin to musical harmony: the art of the combination of differences, into something agreeable or desired. It is not a stagnant point. It flows between while simultaneously incorporating (experiencing) the highs and lows of your life. The highs and lows are actually essential to joy you experience from a harmonious life.

There is tension in all lifestyles. Tension & stress are necessary at times. However, where as tension/stress is a constant state needed to achieve balance. Harmony is a state of constant flow; in which tension, (anger, grief… all the low notes life throws at us) are simply moments in your journey. Instead of falling off the balance beam (falling off the wagon, binge-eating, shopping-till-you-drop, having a string of illicit affairs… whatever your tension/stress response is) life simply goes on (it actually goes up). When you have mastered harmony, you have learned how not to get stuck and dwell in the mire – how not to become unbalanced. You have learned how to pick yourself up and naturally reconnect with all of life’s natural highs.

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Balance is tense; harmony, flows.

HarmonicFlow

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE – our culture loves to LOVE!

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LOVE, LOVE, LOVE – our culture loves the word LOVE! We love our family, our mates, celebrities who are complete strangers, our fitness gurus, our car, our clothes… we simply love to “love”! In many languages the word for “love” is only used when referring to a person. In these same cultures, they would use their word for “like” for everything else. It is no wonder that we seem a bit confused as to the true definition of love – for we simply love too many things!

If you look the word love up in an English dictionary it is defined as: need, attachment, desire, sexual desire/sex, a strong “liking” (really?), affection, tenderness, extreme passion, a beloved… Wow! It seems to mean everything we don’t hate – except for the fact it means “sex” & many people have sex with hate in their hearts. The word “love” in our culture is so over used– that it almost ceases to mean anything at all.

Here, for our purposes @ desirablelove.com, LOVE will mean BELOVED, which is defined as: greatly loved, dear to the heart. Period. Years ago, I was on a third date. At the end of the evening I remember the man whispering in my ear, “Make love to me.” I thought: What?! Make love to you?!? I don’t even know you! The poor guy… If he had simply said, “have sex with me” he would have had a better chance in attaining his desired goal. I can still hear those disturbing words from a literal stranger.

You have to know a living being well, before they can be dear to your heart – before you can love them. That includes yourself.

About the Author of desirablelove.com:

AboutMe

New York University
MA · Aesthetics (study of the mind and emotions in relation to the sense of beauty/harmony)  Colloquium Title: “The Meta- and Physical Epistemology of Aesthetics: how the human body, mind & spirit are effected by beauty/harmony & love”

New York University
BA · Double Major: Psychology/Art History · Double Minor: Writing/Photography

I have lived and worked throughout the USA and Europe. Additionally, I traveled for roughly 3 years while living on a 72-foot sailboat. Lastly, I have had the opportunity to travel extensively throughout Western & Eastern Europe, Russia and Africa as well.

I attended christian primary and secondary schools. After what I had seen and experienced in the world, I had some problems with the concept of blind faith… While still in an Episcopal Prep School, I started searching for Universal Truths to answer questions (I felt Christianity was not). As a consequence, over the past 34 years I have researched, studied & practiced most major traditional (Western & Eastern) lifestyle philosophies & world religions. In the end, I found that the essence of all were actually one in the same. We truly are all One – all connected – all affecting ourselves as well as all those around us.

My life and education have afforded me a very unique (global) view of the world. Something I think is worth sharing:

I hope my blog helps you find health, happiness, harmony & through that a love & a wealth like you’ve never known!

Love, respect & understanding buys true wealth.

Joy

Money can buy
a bed, but not sleep;
sex, but not love;
a house, but not a home;
a book, but not knowledge;
position, but not respect;
a watch, but not time;
finery, but not beauty;
medicine, but not health;
food, but not fulfillment;
entertainment, but not joy;
acquaintances, but not friends;
a ring, but not a marriage….
Money can buy you a lot of material things.
However, love, respect & understanding buys true wealth.

Spiritual & Religious: The Case for Both

Oneness    Recently I mentioned “spirituality” to a friend, to which they sent me a post “Religious, Not Spiritual: The Case for Religion” (which you can read at the bottom of my post):

My simple response is:

I have been researching, studying & practicing all the major world (Western & Eastern) religions & lifestyle philosophies for 34 years (yes, I was sent to religious schools). I consider myself both religious & spiritual. I can define spirituality.

It is a belief in Oneness: that one cannot only have a belief in God/Universal Love on a conscious level (through doctrine/mankind’s interpretations), but that one can actually experience Him/Universal Love directly on a spiritual/nonphysical/energetic level.

If you study the ancient texts, beliefs and rituals of all the traditional major world (Western & Eastern) religions/lifestyle philosophies, you will find that in fact their essence is one in the same. They all ultimately serve and worship the one and only God/Universal Energy — they simply have different ways of describing/naming Him/It.

Since traditional religious/philosophical texts are simply man’s interpretation – they are imperfect. Therefore, only by studying (analyzing, practicing, comparing & contrasting over time) all of the world’s great (traditional) religions et al…. will a person find that one sacred text/tradition will actually answer the questions whose answers were lost in another interpretation. Ultimately giving a person a less biased & more global understanding of God/Universal Omnipotent Energy. Once you have this understanding, everything makes sense – which is truly a great comfort.

Many religions ask for blind faith at times, but if other traditions have the answer to the questions you seek… Why be blind? This is the 21st century – not Medieval times. Only together – as one – do they answer the questions of: How does a person Love unconditionally? How does someone find light in their darkest hour? How can humankind, not only believe in God’s Love, but actually tap into it & feel it? How can I find love & peace?

Of course, you are quite correct when you say many people use the word “spirituality” as a politically correct way to say “religion” these days. However, if that instigates conversations like these – I say, “That’s wonderful”. The more we discuss, the better chance the more people will learn & understand religion & spirituality.

In fact, the direct experience of spirituality might actually be the modern panacea for traditional religion. For once you have a direct experience, you have not doubts. With this in mind, you shouldn’t slam the door in the face of spirituality – you should embrace it.

If you are (Western) Christian, and have a hard time digesting the thought that people claim to be spiritual. I suggest you start by studying one or two of the Christian Mystics, such as Saint Teresa of Avila and/or Hildegard von (of) Bingen. All the great Christian mystics considered themselves religious and spiritual as well.

But remember: ‘The Himalayas of the soul are not for everyone.’ ~ Bhagavad Gita

~always with love

A Curious Faith

Don’t get me wrong. I am not some dogmatic crank trying to carve spirituality out of our religious lives. I’m just saying that “spirituality” (whatever that means) gets more than its share of attention today, while religion seems relegated to the scrap heap of history, certainly in popular American culture and among most (yes, most) of the people I associate with. It is not entirely clear what people mean today when they use the word “spiritual”, especially in the phrase “spiritual, not religious”. For our purposes today, let’s assume it means the private, subjective part of what we used to call religious experience, with “religion” being the public, shared part. I imagine that the audience for this blog is made up mainly of Presbyterians from the northeast who are, like me, in many ways sympathetic with the same forces of social liberalism that shun organized religion. So I think it…

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Suggested Supplemental Reading for Desirable Love

Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese Zen Buddhist monk, is an internationally known author, poet, scholar, and peace activist who was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize by Martin Luther King Jr. If you haven’t had a chance to read any of his work yet, I suggest you do.

In this book, True Love, he explores four key aspects of love: lovingkindness, compassion, joy, and freedom—giving simple explanations on how to experience them in our day-to-day lives.

To check out all suggested supplemental reading for Desirable Love, simply click on: GoodReads

How Can I Make Life Miserable for My Ex?

There is so much human suffering, why would you want to make life miserable for another person? I must presume that you believe your ex made life miserable for you in some way? You believe somehow revenge will make you feel better?

If you chose to take revenge, you are simply continuing to allow yourself to stay – to wallow in the mire. Stop and think. What happens if your revenge does not make your ex miserable? What if they chose not to let your actions effect them? What will you do then? Will you be happy? No, you most definitely will not.

Only happiness can make you happy. Let go of your misery. Forget the revenge. People can do things to us. However, they cannot make us feel. We control how we react to their actions. They can only effect our emotions if we allow them to do so. Take back your control. Aim to control yourself, not others.

It’s hard to let go of a way of being. However, to find what you are looking for, you must. Don’t take garbage out of the trash – it is toxic. Your relationship is over. Take it to the curb, come inside, open a window and let some fresh air in.

Choose to be happy. Focus on building your happiness around yourself – your needs – not your ex. Focus on making yourself a whole person, completely content, happy and fulfilled – all by yourself. Then no one will ever have the power to make you think that they have the right to make you hand over the control of your emotions.

If a person doesn’t feel the need for someone else to complete them, they’ll never feel alone. If one doesn’t have fear of being alone, they won’t stay in a relationship that is deteriorating. They would leave long before the other person has a chance to wear them down so far — as to (allow them to) make them feel miserable.

First, love yourself completely; then, find someone who has done the same. When neither person in a relationship has the need to take/fulfill their individual needs from/through their partner – the relationship will be one of giving, sharing, and, supporting each other. Instead of the all too common relationship, in which insecure people primarily take, hoard, and, tear each other down.

Don’t aim to add to human suffering, for inevitably you will only be adding to your own. If your ex is a person who needed to control your emotions in order to make them feel full of life: The simple knowledge of you being happy, will probably make them  feel fmiserable. But then that will not be by your will, it will simply their reaction to the fact they have lost their power over you.

Take your power back. Find your happiness within. Embrace love.