Mail-Order Bride.

I am engaged to a beautiful Russian girl whom I met via a Russian marriage website. We spent three amazing weeks together in Russia and will be married in my country in December. Is it a good idea to tell her that if she ever cheats on me, even only once, that she’s going back to Russia? – G. Terry

Dear G. Terry, Well, it seems as if you have doubts as to her sincerity. It is in fact, hard to imagine what would motivate anyone to advertise themselves as being willing to marry someone on the other side of the globe (to be willing to leave their home, family, friends, culture – all physical and emotional security behind) – for someone whom they don’t really know. In fact, it is almost inexplicable.

Let’s think about this. The entire endeavor is a huge gamble on her part.  What could be worth so much to risk everything? Certainly not love. If she is as beautiful and amazing as you say she is – she can easily find love at home (which would have the added benefit of not having to give up the rest of her life). Correct? What could the motivation be? A passport? Money? Or (much worse), perhaps someone is coercing her into “selling” herself? All of those possibilities are more plausible than her being on the hunt for true/everlasting/undying love.

Her motivation to marry you is not love. This could be the reason you fear infidelity. Maybe you felt a lack of true emotion when you had intimate moments (during those brief few weeks you were actually able see her in person)? I think the fact that you are having doubts shows that you haven’t completely lost your mind. Anyone, I reiterate anyone, can act amazing for three weeks. This is most especially true if they have a dilemma and they see you as the best solution available to them.

All that being said, if you truly believe you love this woman, what is the rush? Marriage is supposed to be forever. Right? If you have waited your entire life for the right woman, why do you have to get married in one month’s time? What difference would one year of dating really make in the span of an entire life? Spend time to get to know this woman better. Have her come to your country for several weeks. See how she fits in with your friends and relatives. Do not marry her until you trust her enough not to doubt her intentions. A marriage without trust is no marriage at all.

If you already know in your heart that her intentions are not pure, do not go through with your marriage plans. Either way, I wish you both the best of luck.

Delve a bit deeper.

People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out… (however,) when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within. – E. Kubler-Ross

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched. They must be felt with the heart. – H. Keller

If you want someone thoroughly beautiful, you are simply going to have to delve a bit deeper.

Be You (tiful)!

I was in the fashion industry for years. Therefore, I do appreciate outer/superficial beauty. And, as mentioned in my previous post, I understand its value and limitations in society. I just want to add: you can value superficial beauty. However, make sure it is be you (tiful)!

Changing fashion and beauty trends are often bizarre because they have to be different/new – to create a reason for people to buy them. If there wasn’t constantly something “new”, people would not have a constant (conditioned) need to buy (and the industry would suffer financially). The trick: learn to use the industry to your advantage – not theirs. Remember to be you (tiful).

Know: everyone has natural beauty. Everyone. The key to being a beauty is to make all your features (appear) harmonic. It is not who is the skinniest, or, who is the most voluptuous, or, who has the longest hair, or, who has the -est or –iest of anything. Any extreme, of any feature is bizarre looking. Bizarre is not beautiful. Period.

Instead of stressing yourself to be every fashion and beauty trend –est and -iest… First and foremost, just be your health-iest. Then, don’t allow fashion and beauty trends to dictate your looks (no one is beautiful in every trend). Instead, use fashion and beauty trends as experiments to figure out what makes you the most be you (tiful). Make the fashion trend your own. Don’t be afraid to tweak it to fit your personal beautifying needs.

If you are healthy – you will be beautiful! If your fashion & beauty tricks are harmonic (not extreme/trendy) – you will be breathtaking! If your are breathtaking – no one will notice if you are following a fashion trend or not! Simply be you (tiful)!