Unconditional Love: WARNING!

You attract what you are. – Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
Is this true? Yes and no.

You hear from so many: “Become what you want to attract…”. Even some of the posts on this blog have inferred the same… However, before I write any further about desirable love (how to attain it)…I would like to attach a WARNING LABEL to the process.

You hear a lot about 1st “learn to love yourself”…. and as you “learn to forgive”, “love unconditionally”, and “be more accepting” of yourself – you will simultaneously learn how to be more empathetic/forgiving/loving to others… blah, blah, blah.

So now suppose we have done our “work”… we have become a more loving individual… we should attract a more empathetic/understanding/loving partner into our lives… Correct? Well, yes and NO! You will attract both; good & bad. In fact, the better you become, the better & the worse you will attract. Why? & How can one avoid this?

Every human being is attracted to beauty/harmony/love – it is essential to our health and well-being (physically/mentally and spiritually). We are therefore instinctively drawn to it. The more a person is lacking these qualities inside themselves – the more they need them from a source outside of themselves. In fact, the less desirable (unhealthy/inharmonic/unloving) a person is on the inside, the greater their attraction to posses these qualities through a person whom they perceive as having an abundance of loving qualities (empathy, compassion, supportiveness, unconditional love & acceptance…).

To use a vivid example: Psychopaths. They are proven to seek partners who rank in the very highest (90+ percentiles) for the human emotion: empathy. Psychopaths actually hunt to find the most loving of us (knowing that these people are best suited to let them get away with their lack of human kindness, compassion… love… for the longest period of time); a loving person balances out their complete inability to feel empathy, or, their complete inability to form human attachments. A loving partner helps them appear normal to society (giving them a cloak to hide under while they commit crimes against humanity – especially your humanity). The only way they can form a partnership is to pair with a person that practices forgiveness, compassion, unconditional love & acceptance. As you can see, the practice of unconditional love & acceptance can be very dangerous in real world scenarios.

How does one avoid getting involved with negative people? Practice unconditional love on yourself… not blindly on every person you meet! Even Jesus said: Forgive another “seventy times seven”. 70 x 7 = 490. Four hundred and ninety is a finite number. If a person is in an abusive relationship, that person could easily forgive their abuser 490 times in just one week (often less). Again, unconditional love should be practiced on yourself – to allow you to constantly move forward/make progress (physically/mentally and/or spiritually). However, forgiveness should be finite for those seeking to consume/destroy your health and well-being for their own selfish needs.

To be very clear: as you improve yourself be very careful of those you let into your inner circle. We all need to be improving ourselves. Be wary of those who are adults and are not. If someone seeks your help, don’t “do” for them — guide them. The best way to help someone else is to provide a good example (which obviously comes back to us focusing on our own frailties – working on making ourselves healthier).

If you do mistakenly get into a draining one-sided relationship, if a person is leaving you feeling physically, mentally and/or spiritually drained and/or confused – distance yourself ASAP (to regain your harmony/your inner strength). If later you decide to continue some form of a relationship with this person, maintain enough distance (physically and/or mentally) that they are no longer able to (literally) suck the life out of you. Try to remember to only have close intimate relationships with people that are already (or working hard to be) full of love.

Opposites do attract. Loving people have been programmed by culture to want to help those they believe need their love and support. Disharmonious people are instinctively attracted to those from whom they can easily take what they do in fact need – however, have not had the guidance to learn how to, or, simply do not want to put in the effort to build for themselves.

Be(a)ware; you can and should love other adults – just make sure it is not negatively affecting you physically, mentally and/or spiritually. Loving your children can be draining, Remember, you can only give what you have. If you sacrifice too much of yourself, in time you will not be able to give them the love they deserve. Always cultivate and protect your inner beauty/your loving spirit. Don’t depend on others to do this for you. Make maintaining AND protecting (respecting) your physical, mental and spiritual health/harmony your number one priority. Then you will have the chance of being available when the right person does come into your life.

Take care & be well!

Published by

desirablelove.com

New York University MA · Aesthetics (study of the mind and emotions in relation to the sense of beauty/harmony) Colloquium Title: “The Meta- and Physical Epistemology of Aesthetics: how the human body, mind & spirit are effected by beauty/harmony & love” New York University BA · Double Major: Psychology/Art History · Double Minor: Writing/Photography Former Columnist New York Post · New York, NY

22 thoughts on “Unconditional Love: WARNING!”

  1. You really deserve to have many more people reading your work. The first thing I noticed when I finished reading your post, is how many tags you have. Did you know that anything tagged with more then 15 tags (inclusive of categories) will not show up in the reader? Now perhaps WP has changed that rule, but I am not about to even try going over 15 on my posts. You have a LOT of tags, more then 15, so any of your followers won’t even see you in their reader. I would Love to follow you because what you have to say speaks to me. So, I am going to follow but please tag your posts with a maximum of 15 tags (remember inclusive of categories) so I see you in my reader. OK? You write some really incredible articles that in my opinion, many people could benefit from. Love, Amy <3

    Liked by 2 people

      1. A dear man gave me this information, and when I can I pass it on when I see someone else not knowing the WP rule. It is with pleasure that I have helped you. Please pass this Gift forward when you see someone else who doesn’t know the proper way to tag. When I write complex or long posts, I figure out a way to put more then “15” words on the tags. For example …. blue skies in October, (everytihng in between a COMMA counts as ONE tag). SMILE I wish you the best of luck! My formula I use is two categories with 13 tages. <3

        Liked by 1 person

  2. As we grow in Love so too do we have to put up shields against the unloving. This is called divine protection. I have 9 shields made of light, a jelly shield and a razor sharp sword shield which are alert to negative invasions. Yet Good people can walk right through them! Lol!
    also learn the difference between Loving and liking. We can love every soul but not like every body. Stay away from bodies you don’t like!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Reblogged this on emuseclub and commented:
    The phrase Unconditional Love is a misused term.
    One of my dear friends gets mad at me for “not believing in unconditional love” … but what I don’t believe in .. is that he can expect to be part of his friends and family’s life unconditionally… while drinking himself into a verbally abusive cantankerous mess. So he will go off and have one of those nights.. and then get all spiritual and start talking about unconditional love… as if his gf, kids, boss should take him back again and again without changing his behavior. Unconditional love… really is meant to be continuing to forgive and love … but not necessarily allow a misbehaving friend or parent into their inner circle. Desirablelove illustrates this talk about boundaries very well. I must continually remind myself and my children that God loves me unconditionally, and will forgive and accept me when I am honest hearted. But also God expects much of those who have been given much, and if we live hurting other people… we are not going to be given the blessings and opportunities of someone who is spiritually mature. Just like we don’t give the car keys to a 5 year old and say sure… take a joy ride. So… don’t get tripped upon “conditional” we can love and forgive freely with boundaries and wisdom.. and boundaries and wisdom develops discernment so you can learn who to trust and who you can truly be free to love fully because they are mature enough spiritually to have earned our trust.

    Liked by 1 person

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