Givers need to set limits because takers never do, is a tenet of a number of Eastern philosophies.
Personally, I was born in the west and raised to always “turn the other cheek”, forgive (& forget), practice unconditional love…
As a young adult, to my surprise, I often found myself in relationships where it appeared that the other person had not received the same memos. Never-the-less, due to these beliefs being ingrained in my subconscious – I merrily committed myself to the unconditional love/’til to death do we part scenario… just to find myself literally dying from trying…
In short, I still believe in forgiveness (as do Eastern philosophies). Forgiveness is not so much for the sake of the person you are forgiving, but for your own peace of mind. However, I now also believe in limits.
Don’t get me wrong. It is important to put effort into your relationships. The old adage: the best things in life don’t come easy is quite true. Relationships can grow in depth and intimacy when they survive trials and tribulations – together.
I guess that is the key. If both people are trying, a relationship is worth fighting for. However, if you find you have been the only person trying for an extended period of time… you must set a limit. “‘Til death do we part” should be interpreted as the death/loss of any part of us that makes us healthy and whole (loss of physical health, loss of joy/emotional well-being, loss of spiritual well-being). Don’t let a ‘Taker’ take parts of you. If the lack of true partnership in a relationship is killing you – forgive, grow & go.
Reblogged this on Cardozo.
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Relationships mean acceptance, surrender and sacrifice if one is not prepared for this no relationship will mature and unfortunately we don’t have people who are ready to surrender , accept and sacrifice so we have more failed relationship
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Sadly, there is some truth in what you say. Thanks for sharing!
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Most welcome and god bless
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